Going back to school...

Ok, so, after a few attempts at deciding what I want to do for my "second career" - defined as: something to occupy my time now that the kids are grown and help pay for years and years of college - I have been accepted into an accelerated certificate program. I am excited and scared to death about getting my teaching certificate and teaching math/computer science at a high school or junior high level.

I absolutely loved my math teacher in high school. It is really the reason I took all the math I could and was in the first computer science class offered at our school. I had little self-esteem or direction and had massive problems with anxiety that I hid by obsessing about getting my work done as soon as it was assigned. Mr. Stensaas (not even sure of the spelling anymore) encouraged me and treated me like I actually had something to offer the world. He taught a BASIC programming class when computers hit the schools. He really had no training, just a book to read from. I would go home with the assignments and my dad (worked for Control Data at the time) would show me tricks and ways to code that were a little more advanced. I would go in and show Mr. S. He loved it and had absolutely no ego problems with working with a kid. Boy did I love school.

That is the kind of teacher I would like to be. The fear comes in when I wonder if I'll be able to hold onto those ideals and dreams once I hit the "real non-real world of public schools". I have sort of a love/hate relationship with schools right now. I hate them. I love my kids for surviving so well. I have to think that God has given our family the experiences we've had so that I can be a good teacher. But, if I become one of the many egotistical, self-aggrandizing, checked-out, burned-out, filling a job spot, turn off more kids than they turn on teachers - please shoot me!